Guest Blogger this Month is Pamela Chatry, Boomer Business Specialist and HR Consultant

I can’t take any credit for the following hotel brochure nor do I know who to give credit to.  I don’t even know if it is real or just a great urban myth.  What I do know is that I’ve seen this brochure in many variations as I travel.  While it is hilarious, it is a wonderful reminder that, as Hospitality Business Owners, we need to recognize where we need to spend our dollars.  Don’t cut corners on your marketing collateral.  It is our first and can be our last impression.  People make up their minds in the first 6, yes 6 seconds, whether or not they want to do business with us.  As they say, “you only get one chance to make a great impression.”  Better make sure it’s a good one and not memorable for all the wrong reasons. 

Have a laugh at the expense of this hotel.

“The Chinese translation of the English language has some errors but not quite as bad as this one.
  
 A friend went to in Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. 
Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English………. 
 
Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! . You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above all:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.”
 

We wanted to share an article that was recently written by Pamela Chatry (www.pamelachatry.com) for the January 21, 2014 edition of 'Business in Vancouver'.  It's a timely reminder for all business owners!

"Let me start out by saying that while the new year is a great time to evaluate our business, owners of successful companies have a handle on the best and weakest aspects of their business all year through.

However, we can still identify the three primary areas that require constant evaluation.  Be clear on what key financial performance indicators are important to your company growth and profitability.  Be sure and include employee performance and sales and marketing efforts. 

I also encourage setting up Employee Task Force meetings to assist in the effort, and find using five very important questions from the book, ‘Breaking the Rules’ by Siobhan Murphy helpful. 

In order, ask:  “What’s working?  Why? What’s the ideal? What’s not quite right yet? What resources do we need to make it right?  At what cost?”  Notice we begin with the positive, “What’s working and why?”  If we spend time assessing what we have done right, it gives us the chance to celebrate success, prevents us from attempting to fix what’s not broken, and provides us with viable business solutions.

When it comes to the financials of your business, you can’t have enough information!  By asking questions, you can create new budgets, closely examine revenue streams as well as identify important numbers for profitability.  Monitor your cost of goods, accounts payable and receivables, your marketing dollars and labour costs.

Be sure and ask if there are there ways you can save money, while improving on productivity.  Are there departments and/or people that are under-performing? In sales, do you know expectations for each employee efficiency and closing ratio?  

What worked really well in your marketing this past year?  What information do you need in order to make decisions on how to spend your marketing dollars this year?  How well do your know your customer, what is important to them, what needs do they have that you aren’t addressing?  Are there opportunities that you are missing?

The New Year is an excellent time to focus on our business fundamentals.  Now is not the time to go off  on fancy and cute, extra activities that get you off course.  Use this time to set your business roadmap, clearly identify activities that need to be taken, by whom, and hold all accountable for the year ahead."